Corrupt a Wish

[robochicken77]

Granted, but the Entire human population is purged to accomplish that.

I wish that my 3ds didnt crap out on me :(

 

[Rockie]

Granted, its quality is now consistent. That is, that it never works. Can't crap out if it doesn't crap... in!

I wish for a simple plate of fried rice

 

[DeepSeaPrincess]

Granted, it's dry leftovers from the microwave that are strangely salty.

I wish I had a snuggly kitten with me.

 

[Cynical Toast]

Granted, it's dead.

I wish for a balanced breakfast.

 

[Rockie]

Granted, but your other meals are unbalanced, in fact, they're really overpowered

I wish for power beyond my imagination

 

[Godot]

Granted, you're now able to interact with reality although it means you'll never play D&D again.

I wish hamburgers were made of mammoth.

 

[DeepSeaPrincess]

Granted, you're arrested for killing the last of the mammoths.

I wish I could wake up earlier.

 

[robochicken77]

Granted, but you can never feel like youve gotten a restful nights sleep ever again

I wish I could talk to people in real life as easily as I do online

 

[Cynical Toast]

Granted, everyone else is now shy talking to you.

I wish I had more autonomy

 

[DeepSeaPrincess]

Granted, but only a miniscule amount is granted.

I wish I had a new iPhone

 

[Rockie]

Granted, but you aren't given a charger, and nowhere sells one either

I wish my NOSE would stop running

 

[DeepSeaPrincess]

Granted, it's now so stuffy you can't breathe.

I wish I could fall asleep on time

 

[icelandic]

Granted, you fall asleep and indeed wake up on time. However your bowels didn't get the memo.

I wish I had a Teasmade.

 

[chaejoo]

granted, but it breaks and tea begins pouring out rapidly. your house is being flooded with tea. there is no escape

i wish i was more flexible

 

[Rockie]

Granted, but now you're too flexible and can only bend your limbs the wrong way.

I wish to be rid of this back pain

 

[icelandic]

Granted, you are now a head in a jar.

I wish there were 25 hours in a day.

 

[DeepSeaPrincess]

Granted, but this requires a slightly slower spin on the earth and everything falls into chaos as the delicate balance we survive in is thrown off.

I wish I could wear mint colored things and not look dead.

 

[icelandic]

Granted, mint plants and by implication mint colored things are now black.

I wish that gif above would just stop forever.

 

[Rockie]

Granted. Only the one above though. You don't get another wish. You wasted it, fool!

I wish for unlimited indescribable and unimaginable power

 

[icelandic]

Granted. Because it's indescribable you can't tell anyone you've got it, and because it's unimaginable you can't think of anything to do with it.

Indeed, how do you know you didn't already have such power before wishing for it?

I wish I could think of a palindrome involving wish.