Over the Rainbow - An LGBTQIA+ Support Club || Show Your Pride!!

smoky

afterglow
Rainbow Rocket Grunt
Join Date
Nov 1, 2018
Posts
2,177
How's everyone doing as of late?
it’s alright i guess. i’m tryin to live my best gay life but my dad’s not exactly the most supportive of stuff like me wearing nail polish or whatever. idk he’s just kinda pissing me off but whatever he’s gotta deal with it lol

other than that, people at school are amazing no one judges me for bein gay or any of my life and fashion choices so like that’s gooddd
 

Neb

Cosmog Enthusiast
Rainbow Rocket Grunt
Join Date
Nov 1, 2018
Posts
799
Location
Oregon
AKA
Ben
Gender
Male
Time Zone
UTC -8 (Pacific Time)
3DS FC
3540-0538-1086
Switch FC
SW-1778-2704-5495
IGN
Benjamin
Just had one of the most intense discussions I’ve ever had with my birth mother. We were driving home and I told her I wanted to experiment by wearing a dress. She nearly swerved off the road and asked why. No matter how many times I answered she either said I was “coming out as trans” or said it was pointless. The most harmful thing she said was, “you already get enough for being autistic.”

I can understand to an extent why she was so caught off guard by the subject. She was a lesbian who didn’t even understand her sexuality until she was out of college. When she found a partner to spend twenty years with, she couldn’t even marry her. The response was frustrating, but knowing the generational context helped a little bit. I just wish she wouldn’t let it cloud her judgement about her son wanting to look cute every now and then.
 

The Griddler

Mermaid and Robot Enthusiast
Rainbow Rocket Grunt
Join Date
Mar 15, 2019
Posts
571
Location
Ligma, NU
AKA
PuppeteerMask, MystletainnKick
Gender
Female
Switch FC
SW-0956-0339-1010
Holy **** that's terrible. Especially the autism comment. I really hope that our generation grows to be more tolerant and accepting of our own children should the time come for them to have that kind of talk. But then I look around at things like people using the word "trap" and meming about stuff like that and it's hard to maintain positivity.

I would've hoped that your mother's own experiences would make her more understanding, but it feels like it's just made her more closed-minded. It's not surprising, but it is disappointing.

I hope things look up for you in the future.
 

Sebastian

Regular Trainer
Rainbow Rocket Grunt
Join Date
Nov 2, 2018
Posts
119
Location
London
AKA
cameronfedora
Gender
Male
Username: Sebastian
Pokémon to represent you: Luxray!
Preferred pronoun (optional): He/Him
Identity (optional): trans boy, mostly gay but technically pansexual
Hey guys. I'm really happy to find a club like this here :hearteyesazurill:
I've been using my chosen name for a little over a year and a half now. Everyone I know (aside from my parents) calls me by Seb and it makes me so happy. I'm also really happy when people address me by the full version "Sebastian."

It took me years of internal struggle to finally decide to change my name. Honestly, I can't say I was ever sure or even am sure now. But, who the **** cares? I am who I am. I will be who I am and what I am no matter what. So there's no point in worrying. My friends will love me no matter my name or identity <3

If anyone wants to talk about trans or gay stuff in private, anyone here can PM me with questions or whatever, or I can give you my twitter.

@Neb I wore a tuxedo to prom at school, and it was the biggest drama ever with my mom. In the end, you have to do what's right for you. And if thinking of wearing a dress makes you happy, I say DO IT and chase your happiness. We will all be here supporting you.


edit: also btw I run an LGBT support group at my college so, again, I'm always open to talking

edit: Also, as a note, I used to identify as lesbian (but I totally don't anymore!). Life is strange.
 
Last edited:

smoky

afterglow
Rainbow Rocket Grunt
Join Date
Nov 1, 2018
Posts
2,177
i have so much i wanna say neb omg just to start ily and ur an amazing person and dont let anyone make u feel like u arent!!!

Just had one of the most intense discussions I’ve ever had with my birth mother. We were driving home and I told her I wanted to experiment by wearing a dress.
first off, kudos to u for getting the courage to talk about it!! stuff like this can be hard to talk about with irl people, especially in our families, and i think its amazing u could tell her

She nearly swerved off the road and asked why. No matter how many times I answered she either said I was “coming out as trans” or said it was pointless. The most harmful thing she said was, “you already get enough for being autistic.”
i know FOR. A. FACT. absolutely no one ****in cares that much. at least from personal experience. i know people around u are WAYY less nice to u than people in my own life, but honestly, no one cares. people will give u looks, people may be snarky, but they're too busy bein insecure and stuck in their own ways. recently i started doin a hella lot more **** that used to piss off my dad like wearing nail polish and havin long nails, i've been growin out my hair, wearin short shorts, etc. is any of this stereotypically acceptable for guys? nah. but do i love it? YA!! its fun to express yourself. maybe have someone else help u explain this to her? i had my mom explain to my dad that this is just what i wanna do now and he's accepted it. he may not like it, but its my choice to express myself however i wanna. try that out with her!!! it's worth a try!!!
The response was frustrating, but knowing the generational context helped a little bit.
one thing i've learned is to NEVER under any circumstances allow a generational gap between u and others affect ur decisions. i HATE seein this happen and for the longest time, it was soooo damning to my mental health. she may not have come from the best generation for this kind of stuff (regardless if she's gay herself) but its 2019 and guys wearin dresses is gonna happen now!! its a new time and she has to adapt to it!! dont let that generational gap cloud ur own judgment of how others think of u and how they react to u

I just wish she wouldn’t let it cloud her judgement about her son wanting to look cute every now and then.
this is SO PURE AAAAA. u just gotta remember that she may not understand it, but shes gotta accept it. whether or not she likes it, ur a boy, ur her son, and u just so happen to wanna wear dresses. and thats cool!!!! ur comfortable enough with urself that u can do that kind of stuff which is amazin!!! just remember that and i think u will be fine

TL;DR: be the queen u were born to be!!!!!
 
Last edited:

Zange

Drifter
Rainbow Rocket Grunt
People of Play
Join Date
Jan 24, 2019
Posts
69
Location
who knows. who cares.
AKA
Robin, Chi
Gender
Other
Time Zone
CST
Username: Zange
Pokémon to represent you: Gardevoir
Preferred pronoun (optional): any are fine
Identity (optional): bi/nonbinary
 

seaturtle

Spirit Bridge
Administrator
Rainbow Rocket Executive
Join Date
Oct 23, 2018
Posts
1,676
AKA
Chris
Gender
Male
Time Zone
MST
Switch FC
SW-3906-8627-4487
Welcome @Sebastian and @Zange!! Glad to have you in the club c:
Just had one of the most intense discussions I’ve ever had with my birth mother. We were driving home and I told her I wanted to experiment by wearing a dress. She nearly swerved off the road and asked why. No matter how many times I answered she either said I was “coming out as trans” or said it was pointless. The most harmful thing she said was, “you already get enough for being autistic.”

I can understand to an extent why she was so caught off guard by the subject. She was a lesbian who didn’t even understand her sexuality until she was out of college. When she found a partner to spend twenty years with, she couldn’t even marry her. The response was frustrating, but knowing the generational context helped a little bit. I just wish she wouldn’t let it cloud her judgement about her son wanting to look cute every now and then.
Yeesh, I'm sorry man... that's rough. Generational context or not, it still hurts when someone has that sort of reaction to something you've clearly put a lot of thought into. The comment about autism was uncalled for too, although I can sorta see where she's coming from. She's worried about you and any more hardships that you might have to endure because you're different from the "normal" kids at school. She just doesn't want you to get hurt. That being said, I don't think it's worth it to live in fear of what other people will do or say. That's something that coming out to my friends has taught me - it's so much better to be yourself and live for you instead of faking and hiding who you really are.

Overall, I think that a lot of Kaleb's points hit the nail on the head. Your mom is obviously not super supportive of it right now, but talking with her more about it might help - and overall, it's your decision and she needs to let you live how you want to. Don't give a second look to the bullies and haters out there, and love yourself for who you are. We're rootin for ya c:
 

Vivid Stardust

~ Like Stars In The Sky ~
Join Date
Nov 9, 2018
Posts
300
AKA
Vivid, Apollo
Gender
Other
Sometimes, people say things that make me feel bad for being sensitive about my LGBTQ+ identity and my mental health issues. Like, I get that people have their own beliefs about that sort of thing, but when people say certain things, I don’t think they realize how much it affects me.

For example, we were talking a bit about pluralism today in class and the question of what the relationship between majority rule and minority liberty should be. The examples our professor brought up in class were all about LGBTQ+ people (specifically gay couples) getting denied services because they were gay and the person who was supposed to provide a service had religious beliefs that went against that. It’s frustrating because I feel like the message that I got was that I shouldn’t be so sensitive about it because the other side has a right to their beliefs too. I know that’s not what the teacher was trying to say, but that’s what it felt like. Yesterday, someone (who’s part of the queer community) said that they thought it was “superfluous” for people in the queer community to be concerned about pronouns and how people perceive them, and that they should base their self-esteem on what they think and feel, not on others’ perceptions. People talk about how kids are “too sensitive these days”, and I know they’re talking about the LGBTQ+ community.


I know I shouldn’t take it personally, but it hurts! I think of all of my friends, and a lot of them are queer. I think of how most people outside of my friends don’t use they/them pronouns for me even when I tell them my pronouns and gender. I think of how several of my friends had to put up with hell in childhood because their parents thought being queer was immoral due to religion or beliefs. I think of how my mom argued with my brother about using they/them pronouns for me while I just cried, unable to defend myself. I think about how my dad still hasn’t changed my name in his phone. I think about how I have to explain over and over again that I’m asexual, aromantic, nonbinary. I think of how my mom would tell me “You’ll find someone someday,” and “I just don’t want you to be lonely.” I think of the amatonormativity I have to deal with, especially as someone perceived as female. I think about some of the discrimination that happens inside of the community and how that especially affects me because I’m ace/aro/nonbinary/transgender/questioning, and there’s some people who think I don’t belong in the community because of various reasons. I think of how I’m scared that one day, I’ll tell someone I’m ace/aro, and they’ll say, “I can fix that.” That’s not even getting into the mental health stuff and the issues I think and worry about with that.

Can’t people just leave LGBTQ+ people alone and let them live their lives in peace without worrying about bathrooms or being seen as lesser? Is it really that hard for people to do that?
 

The Griddler

Mermaid and Robot Enthusiast
Rainbow Rocket Grunt
Join Date
Mar 15, 2019
Posts
571
Location
Ligma, NU
AKA
PuppeteerMask, MystletainnKick
Gender
Female
Switch FC
SW-0956-0339-1010
snipped for length
There is an inherent hypocrisy in the notion of 'free speech', especially when it's brought up as a reason for why people should be allowed to misgender others at their leisure or devalue or belittle minorities like the LGBTQ+. The defense is always the same: 'I should be allowed to say these things without being judged or feeling threatened'. But, when people are in turn threatened by the things these people do or say - when these people cannot express themselves without being judged or feeling threatened - that isn't seen as an attack on 'free speech'. That's just seen as "snowflakes being snowflakes".

The fact is that most people have experienced a certain status quo throughout most of their lives and dislike seeing that being threatened. They don't like seeing things that they've accepted as a normal part of life being threatened. In a way, yeah. It's easier to slam your foot on the brakes and double down on the things you believe instead of doing things differently, especially if it challenges things you already know and are comfortable with. Even with people who are making the effort to change it can be difficult to do so, even with the little things. My wife is trans, but she flubs the pronouns for some of her friends all the time. She isn't doing it maliciously and she feels terrible every time she does it, but she's so used to referring to certain people a certain way that it's difficult to overcome that sense of muscle memory that we have.

I have a lot of feelings about this subject because, well, it's definitely one that I've had to deal with all the time. For example, I hate the word "trap". It's a slur and it has several negative connotations in regards to the trans community as well as tomgirls, tomboys, and so on. But it's also a word that has been a part of 'internet culture' for several years now and has only recently been called out as a ****ty term to use. Hell, I'll freely admit that before I realized how ****ed up it was I used it all the time and kept using it even afterwards - refer to my comment on muscle memory being a *****. I understand why people use it and continue to use it. Honestly, for several people I'm sure they can't think of any other word that could quantify what they're talking about when they say it. So, they push back. Why should they have to change? It's not a slur because it's "internet culture", which as an argument falls flat on its face when several other slurs with considerably more colourful histories have as much place in "internet culture" as it does. Several people just cannot understand the kind of power words have over our perception of the world around us. It's the same problem with dogwhistles, and honestly if I start talking about dogwhistles I'm going to be here writing this all day, and that's getting way off topic.

I don't know, this is all word salad at this point and it's not really building up to any thought in particular, I just... needed to vent? I understand your frustration Vivid, because honestly I feel it just about every single day. I've been in a lot of online communities and many of them just don't understand that it's not unreasonable to not want people to use hateful language - yes, even if it's not being said in hate it's still hateful language god dammit.

lol but I guess I'm just a sensitive special snowflake sjw what do I know
 

Sebastian

Regular Trainer
Rainbow Rocket Grunt
Join Date
Nov 2, 2018
Posts
119
Location
London
AKA
cameronfedora
Gender
Male
@Vivid Stardust
I feel you.

I hate people who see people having emotions as "sensitive", "weak" or "overreacting."

I try to tune out or block anyone that uses the word 'snowflake.'

I'm a person, I have my own ****ing emotions, and I will own them, but nobody else gets to have an opinion about how I feel as an individual. If something hurts me, its hurts and thats that.

I was always seen as a 'sensitive' kid too. But I don't care anymore. All my best friends IRL are very understanding. We all acknowledge each others feelings even if we don't feel the same way. We try to reassure each other but if our words don't change things, that is okay.

I guess what I'm saying is... there are people out there who appreciate a raw soul that is open to sharing both its joys and sorrows. I think... a lot of people actually admire me for that openess.

I'm... proud of that.
 

spacialrends

Ace Napper
Join Date
May 22, 2019
Posts
2
Location
Virginia, United States
AKA
Mark
Gender
Male
Time Zone
EST (UTC-5)
3DS FC
1478-9162-9733
Switch FC
SW-2395-7315-8413
Username: spacialrends
Pokémon to represent you: popplio
Preferred pronoun: he/him
Identity: trans and gay
 

smoky

afterglow
Rainbow Rocket Grunt
Join Date
Nov 1, 2018
Posts
2,177
Username: spacialrends
Pokémon to represent you: popplio
Preferred pronoun: he/him
Identity: trans and gay
hiiiiiii C:

i hope everyone’s doin ok. i’ve been livin my best gay life here. everyone irl has been rlly chill about me bein gay and it’s been helpin my mental health a lot. i’m feelin a lot less self conscious and i’m just overall rlly happy. or it’s the nail polish fumes getting to my brain but either way i’ve been doin great lately

i also have my bf and he’s wonderful and he makes me rlly happy

if any of y’all need to talk bout gay stuff in private, i’m always available <333 if anyone’s strugglin with lgbtq+ stuff, just remember that ur wonderful no matter what anyone tells u!!!!
 

DeepSeaPrincess

Pretty Voice
Join Date
Nov 7, 2018
Posts
2,015
Location
Inside A Fairy Tale
AKA
Athena, Any variant of that
Gender
Female
Time Zone
PST
3DS FC
0920-1282-6394
IGN
Athena/Sirena Usually
I don't know if I'll participate a huge amount, but I'm planning a pride makeup look for the 1st and I'm excited:) Is anyone else planning anything for pride month?
 

spacialrends

Ace Napper
Join Date
May 22, 2019
Posts
2
Location
Virginia, United States
AKA
Mark
Gender
Male
Time Zone
EST (UTC-5)
3DS FC
1478-9162-9733
Switch FC
SW-2395-7315-8413
Ah thank yall for welcoming me! Finding lgbt friendly video games spaces is really hard (@-@) so finding this club was a really pleasant surprise! Speaking of Pride Month, it's basically like a month dedicated to celebrating the lgbt community! A lot of cities have pride parades/festivals where the local lgbt community can meet and can also find various resources (like lgbt-friendly workspaces and community centers). A lot of times local lgbt-friendly restaurants will serve food or raise money for lgbt charities. It's generally a really good place to meet other lgbt folk (although around where I live, it's really hard to go since it's always REALLY hot around pride month and it's an outdoor event..)
 

smoky

afterglow
Rainbow Rocket Grunt
Join Date
Nov 1, 2018
Posts
2,177
this is my first pride month bein out and i’m like rlly excited bc that means i can be rlly open and have fun with it

i’m not goin to a parade or festival or anythin but u can bet i’m paintin rainbows on my nails at some point

also pls send me a pic of ur makeup athena!!!!! if ur comfortable C:
 

Neb

Cosmog Enthusiast
Rainbow Rocket Grunt
Join Date
Nov 1, 2018
Posts
799
Location
Oregon
AKA
Ben
Gender
Male
Time Zone
UTC -8 (Pacific Time)
3DS FC
3540-0538-1086
Switch FC
SW-1778-2704-5495
IGN
Benjamin
I went to a pride festival a few years ago and I got a ton of glares. Not sure if it was because of the rumors at my school or if I “looked straight,” but it was uncomfortable nonetheless.
 

The Griddler

Mermaid and Robot Enthusiast
Rainbow Rocket Grunt
Join Date
Mar 15, 2019
Posts
571
Location
Ligma, NU
AKA
PuppeteerMask, MystletainnKick
Gender
Female
Switch FC
SW-0956-0339-1010
Both of those sound terrible. Obviously bigotry and rumourmongering are bad enough, and gossipy teens are some of the worst things to deal with, but the idea of gatekeeping - at an event meant to celebrate all of us and bring us together - sickens me. I hope you're able to have more positive experiences in the future.
 

seaturtle

Spirit Bridge
Administrator
Rainbow Rocket Executive
Join Date
Oct 23, 2018
Posts
1,676
AKA
Chris
Gender
Male
Time Zone
MST
Switch FC
SW-3906-8627-4487
Username: spacialrends
Pokémon to represent you: popplio
Preferred pronoun: he/him
Identity: trans and gay
Sorry I'm so late, but welcome to the club!!!! We're super happy to have ya c:
I don't know if I'll participate a huge amount, but I'm planning a pride makeup look for the 1st and I'm excited:) Is anyone else planning anything for pride month?
I just moved back in with my super religious family after school got out, so unfortunately I probably won't be able to :( That being said, it's not gonna keep me from being prideful here on the forums and Discord.

Speaking of which... Today marks the beginning of Pride Month!! Ok, I know I'm a few hours early in some places still BUT who cares we can have pride anyways :prideazurill: This month I'm gonna try to run an activity or two, so if you've got anything you'd like to see or do let me know! For now though, let's start off with a discussion: what makes you proud to be who you are?
 
Top