Peace Of Mind - A Mental Health Club

Vivid Stardust

~ Like Stars In The Sky ~
Join Date
Nov 9, 2018
Posts
186
AKA
Vivid, Apollo
Gender
Other
So I started taking Prozac, and on the one hand it’s helping, but on the other hand, it’s been making everything worse.

I haven’t been able to get myself to focus. I’ve been having two hour periods each day where I just get massively distracted every day for the past two or three weeks. I’ve been struggling with sleep lately, and I keep sleeping in because of that. I feel unmotivated to do homework (which considering I have two essays and a midterm next week, this is literally the worst time for me to not be motivated to do schoolwork).

On top of that, there have been several things that have happened within the past few weeks that ended up triggering a downward spiral in my thoughts. Not even huge things for the most part. I saw a post on tumblr talking about how recovery is a choice, and my brain immediately went to feeling like I’m not trying hard enough to get better in terms of mental health, even though I am trying to get through this and still do well in school.

Self-care has gone out the window. I haven’t been showering or brushing my teeth regularly, and I know I need to do that, but it takes energy and time that I don’t have.

A friend of mine told me that I was talking too much the other day, and it made me feel horrible about myself. I try so hard not to be rude, and I try so hard not to talk over other people, and I try to be mindful of when I come off as arrogant, but that day, I just really needed to infodump about philosophy because it’s SO COOL and I WANNA TALK ABOUT IT. I got really sensitive about it, and I’m upset at that friend right now.

I’m avoiding a different friend because he got mad at me about canceling on him, but I don’t like talking to him, and I can’t deal with his problems right now, and I feel terrible because people always treat the people who abruptly stop talking to their friends like they’re horrible people, but I do that all the time, and I feel bad.

I want to disappear, and not have to deal with anything. I don’t want to die; I just want to go somewhere else where I don’t have to deal with all of this, and then come back when I’m ready to handle it.

I feel like my friends are sick of me and they don’t want to hear me talk about my problems or my interests anymore, and I feel like I’m constantly bothering them, so that friend telling me that I was talking too much basically made me feel like I’m a horrible friend.

I need to do homework right now, because I have a ton of stuff to work on over the weekend, but I just don’t have the energy. I just want this next week to disappear so I can go on spring break and actually have time to work on stuff and have homework that isn’t due right away and read and play Puyo Puyo. Aaaaaaaagh.

One good thing that’s been happening recently is that I’ve been feeling more affirmed in my gender identity recently due to a third friend talking to me, a teacher talking to me, and a dream I had last night. I’m still experiencing a lot of self-doubt, but I’ve been feeling a little bit better about it recently. That’s good, right?

I’m also going to be seeing a new psychologist soon, hopefully! I’m excited for that.
 

SAF

Child of the Musketeers (?)
Join Date
Nov 3, 2018
Posts
508
Location
Indonesia
AKA
Sania
Gender
Female
Time Zone
+7 GMT
IGN
Sayo, Koh, Ami, Aevia
Sooo, how's everybody been? I hope y'all have a good day. :happyazurill:
This week (as in from this Wednesday to next Wednesday) is going to be hectic for me. Why? Because I have to prepare for my undergrad thesis exam. Gotta need all the best luck I can get for this one. :hmmazurill:
 

Neb

Cosmog Enthusiast
Join Date
Nov 1, 2018
Posts
656
Location
Oregon
AKA
Benjamin, James, Pemderp
Gender
Male
Time Zone
UTC -8 (Pacific Time)
3DS FC
3540-0538-1086
Switch FC
SW-1778-2704-5495
IGN
Benjamin
The person my Mom reported to the school for calling me a “little b****” denied doing it when questioned by the counselor. I know she is lying because she has told me she was “done with you” and to “get over it” since then. After nearly three years, my Mother has lost her composure on this subject. She’s angered these students have gotten little to no punishment for attacking me and she’s asking the school to have them talk to her directly. Like I’ve said before, I’m more annoyed by their behavior now rather than depressed, but I’m not sure what this entails.
 

darkmaster006

Rookie Trainer
Join Date
Feb 14, 2019
Posts
20
Gender
Male
The person my Mom reported to the school for calling me a “little b****” denied doing it when questioned by the counselor. I know she is lying because she has told me she was “done with you” and to “get over it” since then. After nearly three years, my Mother has lost her composure on this subject. She’s angered these students have gotten little to no punishment for attacking me and she’s asking the school to have them talk to her directly. Like I’ve said before, I’m more annoyed by their behavior now rather than depressed, but I’m not sure what this entails.
I hope all goes well! I'ts saddening to see those people being so ****ty to you, ugh.

Some updates on my end.
I've been doing relatively well lately. Been focusing on crafting my OCs and my stories which keeps me pretty busy. And the school year is about to start, I'm a bit stressed about that since I'll be doing two careers, so I hope I'll have enough time for everything. I was thinking all was going pretty well today (been doing research on crafting characters, mental illnesses, personality, Pokemon, and abuse) when I went to pick up my mom and she was all like 'why aren't you doing anything everyday' and lots of times when I'm alone with her she starts going on about that and it honestly triggers a sad feeling in me that lingers on the whole day. Am I not good enough? I really am trying my best and I keep trying, and I'm doing lots of creative things, and I'm trying to get into more classes, hell I'll be taking lots of classes this year, and I do pretty well in my school. So I don't know how to tell her that I'm doing my best and I'm always trying, and it's really depressing to hear that from her, it hurts me a lot tbh. It's so difficult to even do things, and I get more depressed when she goes on like that. I guess she wants me to be more sociable? Idk, but I'm quite introverted. And ofc her telling me all that... doesn't really help, at all. Just wanted to get that out I guess.
 

Luke Strife

"Long live the king."
Join Date
Dec 25, 2018
Posts
220
Location
Pride Rock
Gender
Male
Time Zone
GMT
I've been struggling a lot with my sense of self worth lately. Work has been aggravating me a lot as well, in the sense that it feels oppressive. I'm going away on holiday for a week in a few days though. I'm super looking forward to that. I just really need to recharge and it doesn't feel like I'm getting much of an opportunity to do so right now. I've started exercising somewhat regularly in the mornings though, and that definitely is helping. Meditation helps too but I'm failing to prioritise that and end up running out of time before having to go do other things. In fact my prioritisation in general just sucks right now. Feeling like I'm kinda going nowhere. My life needs a shake-up. I'm trying to push on through the fog and hope that it clears soon.
 
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