Peace Of Mind - A Mental Health Club

Vivid Stardust

~ Like Stars In The Sky ~
Join Date
Nov 9, 2018
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277
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Vivid, Apollo
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Other
So I started taking Prozac, and on the one hand it’s helping, but on the other hand, it’s been making everything worse.

I haven’t been able to get myself to focus. I’ve been having two hour periods each day where I just get massively distracted every day for the past two or three weeks. I’ve been struggling with sleep lately, and I keep sleeping in because of that. I feel unmotivated to do homework (which considering I have two essays and a midterm next week, this is literally the worst time for me to not be motivated to do schoolwork).

On top of that, there have been several things that have happened within the past few weeks that ended up triggering a downward spiral in my thoughts. Not even huge things for the most part. I saw a post on tumblr talking about how recovery is a choice, and my brain immediately went to feeling like I’m not trying hard enough to get better in terms of mental health, even though I am trying to get through this and still do well in school.

Self-care has gone out the window. I haven’t been showering or brushing my teeth regularly, and I know I need to do that, but it takes energy and time that I don’t have.

A friend of mine told me that I was talking too much the other day, and it made me feel horrible about myself. I try so hard not to be rude, and I try so hard not to talk over other people, and I try to be mindful of when I come off as arrogant, but that day, I just really needed to infodump about philosophy because it’s SO COOL and I WANNA TALK ABOUT IT. I got really sensitive about it, and I’m upset at that friend right now.

I’m avoiding a different friend because he got mad at me about canceling on him, but I don’t like talking to him, and I can’t deal with his problems right now, and I feel terrible because people always treat the people who abruptly stop talking to their friends like they’re horrible people, but I do that all the time, and I feel bad.

I want to disappear, and not have to deal with anything. I don’t want to die; I just want to go somewhere else where I don’t have to deal with all of this, and then come back when I’m ready to handle it.

I feel like my friends are sick of me and they don’t want to hear me talk about my problems or my interests anymore, and I feel like I’m constantly bothering them, so that friend telling me that I was talking too much basically made me feel like I’m a horrible friend.

I need to do homework right now, because I have a ton of stuff to work on over the weekend, but I just don’t have the energy. I just want this next week to disappear so I can go on spring break and actually have time to work on stuff and have homework that isn’t due right away and read and play Puyo Puyo. Aaaaaaaagh.

One good thing that’s been happening recently is that I’ve been feeling more affirmed in my gender identity recently due to a third friend talking to me, a teacher talking to me, and a dream I had last night. I’m still experiencing a lot of self-doubt, but I’ve been feeling a little bit better about it recently. That’s good, right?

I’m also going to be seeing a new psychologist soon, hopefully! I’m excited for that.
 

SAF

Second Violinist
Join Date
Nov 3, 2018
Posts
717
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Indonesia
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Sania
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+7 GMT
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Sayo, Koh, Ami, Aevia, Chitose
Sooo, how's everybody been? I hope y'all have a good day. :happyazurill:
This week (as in from this Wednesday to next Wednesday) is going to be hectic for me. Why? Because I have to prepare for my undergrad thesis exam. Gotta need all the best luck I can get for this one. :hmmazurill:
 

Neb

Cosmog Enthusiast
Rainbow Rocket Grunt
Join Date
Nov 1, 2018
Posts
738
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Oregon
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Benjamin, James, Pemderp
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Benjamin
The person my Mom reported to the school for calling me a “little b****” denied doing it when questioned by the counselor. I know she is lying because she has told me she was “done with you” and to “get over it” since then. After nearly three years, my Mother has lost her composure on this subject. She’s angered these students have gotten little to no punishment for attacking me and she’s asking the school to have them talk to her directly. Like I’ve said before, I’m more annoyed by their behavior now rather than depressed, but I’m not sure what this entails.
 

darkmaster006

Rookie Trainer
Join Date
Feb 14, 2019
Posts
21
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Male
The person my Mom reported to the school for calling me a “little b****” denied doing it when questioned by the counselor. I know she is lying because she has told me she was “done with you” and to “get over it” since then. After nearly three years, my Mother has lost her composure on this subject. She’s angered these students have gotten little to no punishment for attacking me and she’s asking the school to have them talk to her directly. Like I’ve said before, I’m more annoyed by their behavior now rather than depressed, but I’m not sure what this entails.
I hope all goes well! I'ts saddening to see those people being so ****ty to you, ugh.

Some updates on my end.
I've been doing relatively well lately. Been focusing on crafting my OCs and my stories which keeps me pretty busy. And the school year is about to start, I'm a bit stressed about that since I'll be doing two careers, so I hope I'll have enough time for everything. I was thinking all was going pretty well today (been doing research on crafting characters, mental illnesses, personality, Pokemon, and abuse) when I went to pick up my mom and she was all like 'why aren't you doing anything everyday' and lots of times when I'm alone with her she starts going on about that and it honestly triggers a sad feeling in me that lingers on the whole day. Am I not good enough? I really am trying my best and I keep trying, and I'm doing lots of creative things, and I'm trying to get into more classes, hell I'll be taking lots of classes this year, and I do pretty well in my school. So I don't know how to tell her that I'm doing my best and I'm always trying, and it's really depressing to hear that from her, it hurts me a lot tbh. It's so difficult to even do things, and I get more depressed when she goes on like that. I guess she wants me to be more sociable? Idk, but I'm quite introverted. And ofc her telling me all that... doesn't really help, at all. Just wanted to get that out I guess.
 

Luke Strife

"Long live the king."
Join Date
Dec 25, 2018
Posts
370
Location
Pride Rock
Gender
Male
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GMT
I've been struggling a lot with my sense of self worth lately. Work has been aggravating me a lot as well, in the sense that it feels oppressive. I'm going away on holiday for a week in a few days though. I'm super looking forward to that. I just really need to recharge and it doesn't feel like I'm getting much of an opportunity to do so right now. I've started exercising somewhat regularly in the mornings though, and that definitely is helping. Meditation helps too but I'm failing to prioritise that and end up running out of time before having to go do other things. In fact my prioritisation in general just sucks right now. Feeling like I'm kinda going nowhere. My life needs a shake-up. I'm trying to push on through the fog and hope that it clears soon.
 

Rockie

Dark Envoy
Rainbow Rocket Grunt
Join Date
Mar 26, 2019
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717
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Rockie
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5043-2301-9525
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Rockie
Groups like these aren't usually my thing, but, who knows? Maybe it'll give some peace of mind.
Username: RS Everest
Nickname: RS, R or Rockie.
Gender: Male
Adversity (optional): The only diagnosed mental issue I have is Generalised Anxiety Disorder. There's definitely a lot more in my head going on than that but I'm not a doctor so I won't self diagnose.
Image to represent you: Sorry this is the smallest size I have for the image I hope it'll do
Other: Strength o' heart, innit.
I mainly want to be here to help other people if I can. I'm not good at talking about myself so at least I can be of some use to others if y'all need someone to vent to. Hope to talk to you all soon!
 
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DeepSeaPrincess

Pretty Voice
Join Date
Nov 7, 2018
Posts
2,034
Location
Inside A Fairy Tale
AKA
Athena, Any variant of that
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Female
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PST
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0920-1282-6394
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Athena/Sirena Usually
Groups like these aren't usually my thing, but, who knows? Maybe it'll give some peace of mind.
Username: RS Everest
Nickname: RS, R or Rockie.
Gender: Male
Adversity (optional): The only diagnosed mental issue I have is Generalised Anxiety Disorder. There's definitely a lot more in my head going on than that but I'm not a doctor so I won't self diagnose.
Image to represent you: Sorry this is the smallest size I have for the image I hope it'll do
Other: Strength o' heart, innit.
I mainly want to be here to help other people if I can. I'm not good at talking about myself so at least I can be of some use to others if y'all need someone to vent to. Hope to talk to you all soon!
Welcome in, I'll add you right away!
 

shhmew

insolent pup
Staff Emeritus
Join Date
Oct 28, 2018
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1,744
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in ur heart
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Katey
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Female
welcome welcome !
 

Rockie

Dark Envoy
Rainbow Rocket Grunt
Join Date
Mar 26, 2019
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717
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Rockie
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GMT
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IGN
Rockie
Hello hello it's nice to be here!
Not gonna lie I had an awful night last night with panic after I ate dinner but I woke up feeling pretty great at the very least. Why must eating always be the hardest part of my life.
I hope this week goes well for you all!
 

shhmew

insolent pup
Staff Emeritus
Join Date
Oct 28, 2018
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in ur heart
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Katey
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why did eating do that?? ): eating is like the best part of my life
 

Rockie

Dark Envoy
Rainbow Rocket Grunt
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Rockie
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Rockie
why did eating do that?? ): eating is like the best part of my life
Ah its uhm, well I still haven't had a diagnosis for what it is, but I struggle eating all the time. You know that feeling where you haven't eaten in a while and it feels like your stomach is eating away at itself and you feel nauseous? It feels like that, but, I've had it every day for almost 4 years, and only gets worse after I eat. Sometimes its manageable but sometimes it keeps me up for hours. It really makes my anxiety bad, which makes my stomach worse, which makes me more anxious and it often snowballs like that.
Food is still the best part about life, just means I can't enjoy it often.
 

DeepSeaPrincess

Pretty Voice
Join Date
Nov 7, 2018
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Inside A Fairy Tale
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Athena, Any variant of that
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Athena/Sirena Usually
why did eating do that?? ): eating is like the best part of my life
Ah its uhm, well I still haven't had a diagnosis for what it is, but I struggle eating all the time. You know that feeling where you haven't eaten in a while and it feels like your stomach is eating away at itself and you feel nauseous? It feels like that, but, I've had it every day for almost 4 years, and only gets worse after I eat. Sometimes its manageable but sometimes it keeps me up for hours. It really makes my anxiety bad, which makes my stomach worse, which makes me more anxious and it often snowballs like that.
Food is still the best part about life, just means I can't enjoy it often.
Oh wow, that does not sound good. I hope you can get diagnosed for it so you can get treatment, that could become really dangerous if it ever goes much farther since the brain likes to develop aversions to stuff it knows hurts. I know what it's like to have your stomach freak out on you (though mine's a physical thing and not anxiety related for the most part), and it's not easy at all. Hang in there!
 

Rockie

Dark Envoy
Rainbow Rocket Grunt
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Oh wow, that does not sound good. I hope you can get diagnosed for it so you can get treatment, that could become really dangerous if it ever goes much farther since the brain likes to develop aversions to stuff it knows hurts. I know what it's like to have your stomach freak out on you (though mine's a physical thing and not anxiety related for the most part), and it's not easy at all. Hang in there!
Eheh well 4 years ago when it first happened I stopped eating almost at all and went from like, 210lbs to around 160lbs if memory serves, it definitely developed an aversion to eating and it was really difficult to start again. I've put some of the weight back on now luckily so i'm not underweight anymore. Its funny, usually I count the days I'm ill for reference for when I'm better, but since that never came I just kept counting. Tthanks for the kind words of encouragement though Athena! I'm not giving up trying to find medical help, even if it takes another, uuhmm...1401 days, give or take.
(I also feel impulse to apologise for talking about myself so much its not something i do like ever)
 
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DeepSeaPrincess

Pretty Voice
Join Date
Nov 7, 2018
Posts
2,034
Location
Inside A Fairy Tale
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Athena, Any variant of that
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Athena/Sirena Usually
Don't apologize, the club is here for you to talk about things. We're here to listen, and anyone's free to talk:)
 

shhmew

insolent pup
Staff Emeritus
Join Date
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in ur heart
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indeed we are here to help too=) i hope you can get that checked out, sounds very mysterious and like you just need answers to figure out how to tackle it.
 

Dregran

Shocking Trainer
Rainbow Rocket Grunt
Staff Emeritus
Join Date
Oct 24, 2018
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@SAF I hope the thesis went well!!!

@Luke Strife Hey it's great that you're exercising and doing meditation! It's okay to take your time adjusting to such a drastic change - if you stuff up and don't give yourself enough time for meditation a few times, that's okay! I'm proud of you and happy to hear some positives! Keep on keepin' on, my dude! Hope that holiday went well too :)
 

Luke Strife

"Long live the king."
Join Date
Dec 25, 2018
Posts
370
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Pride Rock
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GMT
It went absolutely awesomely, thank you. It was just what I needed. I didn't even feel too sad that it was over, just content and happy that it had happened. I'm glad that my mental state is currently such that I can appreciate the good time I had without worrying that I have to come back to potential garbage. You're right that I'm too harsh on myself though, it's a long work in progress.
 

Neb

Cosmog Enthusiast
Rainbow Rocket Grunt
Join Date
Nov 1, 2018
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738
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Benjamin
Good news! I can finally handle vapid insults and people laughing at me.

One of the people that’s been bugging me for three years sat across from me yesterday and took every opportunity to insult me. She’d accuse me of having a different gender identity, referred to me as “you,” and made farting sounds with her mouth throughout class. I didn’t flinch and wasn’t bothered by it!

Another example of me handling things like this was when I was in a grocery store buying some mochi ice cream. Some of my classmates called me a weeaboo and laughed at me. Once again, I wasn’t bothered by it. I don’t fit the proper definition of the term, and I only bought one because I like the taste. Why should I be ashamed for liking Japanese treats?

I’ll never understand people who laugh at other’s expense and use insults to get a rise, but it isn’t phasing me anymore. I am still trying to transfer for a fresh start. Until then, I’ll do whatever it takes to not give them the reaction they’re so desperate for.
 

Rockie

Dark Envoy
Rainbow Rocket Grunt
Join Date
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Rockie
Don't apologize, the club is here for you to talk about things. We're here to listen, and anyone's free to talk:)
indeed we are here to help too=) i hope you can get that checked out, sounds very mysterious and like you just need answers to figure out how to tackle it.
Ah jeez I forgot to respond but thanks you two, I know it's the point of the club but it still means a lot nonetheless.

I’ll never understand people who laugh at other’s expense and use insults to get a rise, but it isn’t phasing me anymore. I am still trying to transfer for a fresh start. Until then, I’ll do whatever it takes to not give them the reaction they’re so desperate for.
Its great news to hear you're coping better! Honestly these people you talk about just... how old are they meant to be? That's like, secondary school level stuff. No wonder you're so frustrated, you have to deal with morons all the time. You're better than people like that, so don't worry about what ****e they spew at you. Plus Mochi is delicious even if I wasn't a huge weeb I'd still devour it like pac man.
 

SAF

Second Violinist
Join Date
Nov 3, 2018
Posts
717
Location
Indonesia
AKA
Sania
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Female
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+7 GMT
IGN
Sayo, Koh, Ami, Aevia, Chitose
@SAF I hope the thesis went well!!!
Amen. The thesis exam itself went well, but the result hasn't been announced yet because I still have to revise my work here and there. I gotta work on it ASAP.
Another example of me handling things like this was when I was in a grocery store buying some mochi ice cream. Some of my classmates called me a weeaboo and laughed at me. Once again, I wasn’t bothered by it. I don’t fit the proper definition of the term, and I only bought one because I like the taste. Why should I be ashamed for liking Japanese treats?
Whoa there, seems like those people fail to understand the proper definition of weaboo to begin with. That's why I'd say it's their fault, not yours.
 
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