Peace Of Mind - A Mental Health Club

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Mirage

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Yeah, I was copying the image itself and pasting them, and not the url. I asked Rin for help and she helped me to realize that. I FINALLY got them as img tags! Thanks as well Brett :D
 

Dregran

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Heck yeah!

Lately, I've been really good mentally. A few hurdles here and there, but I'm coming through okay. I need to remain confident of my own pathway through life and ignore bad influences.
 

Neb

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Had a public argument this morning with my mother over school. It was not fun, but we apologized. My heart rate has also been concerning. It races 24/7 and nothing seems to stop it. Hopefully the heart tracker the cardiologist gave me will help me figure out where this came from.

Otherwise my mental and physical health has been the best I’ve had in four years. I mostly feel refreshed and happy. Getting out of that horrible school is a good part of that recent joy. I feel like a bunch of shackles have been removed. Even though I’m going to a new school in a few months, I’m certain it will be better than what had proceeded it.
 

smoky

afterglow
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i haven't been doing too great lately tbh. i'm really exhausted (mentally and physically) all day, every day. not even sleeping more helps i'm tired no matter what and it's really hard to force myself to do homework cuz i'm so tired. i've been having a lot of issues with an irl friend and stuff too. my life is just really messy rn. i keep getting really bad anxiety too and when i do i put my hood on, but i keep getting yelled at when i'm at school so i just gotta sit there awkwardly and die inside during classes. it's really hard to focus and i end up having to do a bunch of work outside of class so i'm not behind and won't get yelled at more.

i'm happy you two are doing well though <3
 

~Kilza~

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It's great to hear that you're finally willing to be open about your own autism on here, Mirage! Definitely proud of you and everybody else who's willing to be open about their mental illnesses, given the stigma that still surrounds them today!

For what it's worth, when I was younger I was tested for autism. And it turned out I wasn't autistic. I was just quiet and weird. Which is perfectly fine. At least it's nice to have that knowledge, so that way I can't be like "What if I actually have autism?"

As for how I'm doing right now, I'm good. Life is good. It's crazy to think about how bad of a spot I was in two months ago, how ****ty everything felt and how it just felt like the sun wouldn't rise again. But I pulled through, and man, I've definitely felt the best that I have in years. Like my mental state is in a good spot, I feel like things are on the right track, and I've been managing to cope with my social anxiety better recently (though obviously it's still a struggle at times). I know I just gotta keep pushing forward, gotta keep improving and things will work out the way I want them to.
 

Vivid Stardust

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Recently, I’ve been in a bit of an in-between state where I’m not absolutely miserable, but I’m also not happy. I guess the best way to describe it would be a numb, floating feeling? I just don’t really know what I’m feeling right now. I guess it’s better than anxious or depressed, but it’s not where I want to be.

I’ve also been struggling with my identity a bit over the past few months. I identify as non-binary, and I’m sure I’m not a guy or a gal, but I still feel like I’m faking it, even though I know that’s irrational. I wouldn’t have told my parents if I wasn’t at least 90% sure. I’m still not sure on the specifics, which is why I like the term non-binary, but I know there’s gotta be a more specific term for me. I also have to keep reassuring myself that just because I present femininely pretty often and get referred to as a girl doesn’t mean I am a girl or that I’m invalid as a non-binary person.

The rest of my identity is confusing as well. What is a personality, even? What do I believe in? I kinda know what my beliefs are, but I don’t know for everything. Do I really like writing, drawing, and music, or am I just acting like I like those things? Who am I? What do I want to do with my life outside of the career choices I’ve decided on? I know I want to be a happy person and a good person, and I know I want to help others, but that’s about it.

Sometimes, I feel like I base my identity on my mental disorders too much. It’s not that I’m not trying to get help because I am. I’m just scared that the reason why nothing is getting better is because I’m too stuck to being autistic/having ADHD/having anxiety to attempt to improve. (I didn’t include depression because I hate having depression again, and I wish it would leave me alone.) I don’t know if that’s just because of how things went with my last therapist or if that’s actually what’s going on.

There’s several things that I know I should just do/try to do (like writing, reading for fun, finishing Umineko, homework and studying, and working on music), but I struggle with getting myself to do them.

God, I hope I have time to work through this stuff next semester....
 

Mirage

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@Brett: Keep riding the wave Brett, keep riding that wave!

@Neb: I saw your post on that in a different thread. At least your mental and physical health is going through a great time right now. It's good to see your life getting better and better. Of course you're gonna have those bad moments, but I'm glad you're life is getting better instead of worse :)

@Kaleb: Eesh, I sincerely hope you pull through the turmoil you're going through right now. I hope things get better for you, or at least more manageable. I may not be in school anymore, but being tired was something I always dealt with. All I can say is to keep hanging on and do what you can to help with your tiredness.

@Kilza: Thanks for the kind words :) I'm also proud of everyone else who opened up as well, for without them, I wouldn't have the guts to come out on my own. And I remember that time you were struggling. I was worried for you there during that time, always hoping your life would get better. It makes me so happy to see you doing great now!

@Apollo: I know exactly how you feel. Whenever I hit rock bottom with depression, cry myself to sleep, and wake up the next morning, that's how I felt. Different circumstances, but same feeling. You know yourself better than anyone, so only you could discover who you really are as a person. Being autistic, I can relate to some degree. The only reason why it took me so long to open up about my mental illness is because I don't want to be defined by my autism, even though it does explain how I am sometimes. I want people to know me for me, not because of something I have. A saying I always liked is "be yourself" and to not care what people think. But yeah, it's a learning process, and it takes a bit of courage to not let your illnesses define who you are. As long as you focus on yourself and growing as a person, you'll discover who you are. One day at a time.

As for myself, well, I hate to admit it, but I've also been going through a rough time. It's bleh. Yesterday in particular was really tough for me. Just a whole bunch of things came crashing down on me. I'm still feeling a bit meh tbh. The day after a really tough day is always a meh day for me. But oh well, as long as I keep fighting and have friends who'll listen for when I need it it'll work out in the end. Seeing all you guys be excited about this club does make me a bit happier :)
 

DeepSeaPrincess

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@Dregran I'm so glad to hear that!

@Neb That is concerning...I hope you guys can figure out why your heart rate is so high, that could be dangerous. And arguments, especially those in public don't help. But I'm glad you're doing well besides that!

@smoky I'm sorry, that must be hard, especially on low sleep. And then the fact they get upset about your hood...that's tough since it can be so helpful for anxiety. I really hope you get better soon.

@~Kilza~ That makes me so happy:) It really is true that the darkest times come before the best, and it gets better when you work to make it better. Hope that only continues!

@Vivid Stardust I don't have any way to relate to this personally, but I know others who struggle with identity and have seen how it affects them. I hope your last therapist didn't make it worse, that can be so hard and believe me I've had some bad ones. I believe in you, and I know you can push through this and discover the answers to all these questions. You are more than an illness, and more than a label. Be true to yourself and your heart, you know what's right for you.

@Mirage I'm sorry you're having a tough time, you can always come talk to me if you need an ear:) Hugs!

I'm going to be perfectly honest about something. I haven't just been having a bad time, I've been having a dangerously bad time. I left Azurilland for a break because of it, and though I feel a tiny bit better I'm still not the greatest. I've felt more alone than I have in years, especially since I lost my friends when I moved (those who didn't ditch me during the year or turn out to be horrible people that is), the only remaining person being my girlfriend. I felt ignored by everyone around me, and because of childhood scars that really triggers some bad things if it happens for too long. Even with logic telling me I was overreacting I still felt like nobody wanted me around. I almost did something very drastic, which I'm grateful to my girlfriend for recognizing and convincing me not to do. I'm a bit better now, but not by much. I'm not determined to hurt myself or worse, but I don't feel too good about myself either. I know it will get better, but until then chocolate, my wonderful and patient girlfriend, and Disney help.
 

DeepSeaPrincess

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Welcome! I don't know if Mirage is already adding you so I'll leave it to him but either way welcome in!

Also I forgot with the initial wave of people but welcome to everyone else:)
 

Vivid Stardust

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@DeepSeaPrincess
That sounds really awful! I know that I’ve had similar feelings especially last month in that sometimes I feel like a burden/like nobody wants to talk to me or hear about my issues. I’m really glad your girlfriend is supportive of you; I hope that you find some good friends, and that things get better for you! Also, thanks for the kind words. I’m definitely going to try my best to figure things out!

@Mirage - Yeah...I’m trying not to worry about it too much. I’ve always had trouble with taking things one day at a time; I always feel like I have to have everything figured out, even though people tell me that’s not realistic. I hope I can slow down enough to not worry about everything at once in the future. It’s sad that you’re feeling crummy; I hope you have better days soon!
 

shhmew

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Keep on keepin on, friends. Personally I am doing just fine, but I have had so many nights where I just laid in bed wondering how on earth I was gonna make it through the horrible, awful things I had to slog through at the time. But I always did. And if I can do it, I believe anyone can lol.
 

Dregran

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@Vivid Stardust I can relate to how you feel with regards to being unsure of your own identity and sense of self. I can assure you that pretty much everyone has gone through what you're going through - questioning who they are people and what they stand for. It's a really scary time and there's no way to suddenly wake up and know everything about yourself. I think the biggest thing is accepting that you're a person who makes mistakes, just like everyone else on this floating rock we call earth. I don't mean to devalue how you feel, though! Your self-doubt is completely legitimate, I just want you to know that you're not alone. :smileazurill:

@DeepSeaPrincess I'm happy to hear that you were able to turn things around. You're very lucky to have your girlfriend and I'm sure she feels the same. You're doing great if you're able to open up here and let us know about your triumph through a period of bad thoughts.
 

Dregran

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That must have been a bit confronting. Hope you're handling it well, @Lycoris! I'm still a fan of the same old you! :smileazurill:
 

DeepSeaPrincess

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@Lycoris That kind of thing can be really difficult. It may not change you as a person, but it definitely can change how others treat you and can be a big deal. I hope you're doing ok, we all love you here!
 

Neb

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Welcome! Hope you enjoy your time here.
 

Pendraflare

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@Plusheon Nice to have you here! We hope to be able to support you. ^^

@Lycoris Wow, that must not be easy to have to deal with. Well I'm still listening, and so are the rest of us!

@DeepSeaPrincess Knowing you, I have a feeling I may know what that "something drastic" could potentially be. )x But I'm glad you had your girlfriend to keep you from carrying through with it! As others have said, you're formidable for being able to tell us this and still persevere. As someone who's been happy to have you as a friend for years now, I have only the best to wish you both!
 

Plusheon

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@Plusheon Nice to have you here! We hope to be able to support you. ^^

@Lycoris Wow, that must not be easy to have to deal with. Well I'm still listening, and so are the rest of us!

@DeepSeaPrincess Knowing you, I have a feeling I may know what that "something drastic" could potentially be. )x But I'm glad you had your girlfriend to keep you from carrying through with it! As others have said, you're formidable for being able to tell us this and still persevere. As someone who's been happy to have you as a friend for years now, I have only the best to wish you both!
Hi, thanks for the welcome and the offer of support. I'm hoping to be able to offer support to everybody here, too. ^^
 
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