Settling the Score: Pokemon X

[Cynical Toast]

It's a blizzard outside which would be cool if this part had the snow level in it.

Spoiler: Session 14: Goodbye Moonmen

With the tide of fascism quelled, we can finally resume our journey of complaining about a children's game.

Triumphant music blared as I entered Route whatever the ****, and honestly it's really good take a listen.

Minor nitpick, but these guards could really afford to stop blocking the gate. I mean I can get through, but it takes slightly longer than it should when I'm constantly skating into the fine proletariat.

I thought my repels would save me from encounters, but this guy just popped out of the bush and fought me anyways. Since he's fast, I had to fight him I think.

Oh okay that's a new mechanic. I'm gonna hazard a guess and say this didn't make it into future games.

Once again, I have been outplayed by a random level hike that came out of nowhere. society

oh wow this cave has the same music as the last 50 of them. Alexa, please play a better dungeon theme.

I'm gonna be honest, the constant random encounters are really starting to annoy me. Because the game jacked the levels up 7 times, my team is all too low leveled for repels to work, and everything in this cave seems to have rock slide or explosion, making training Vespiquen kinda hard.

As if being bombarded by random encounters wasn't annoying enough, now I can't even use Rock Smash without being attacked by one of these guys, who are proudly rocking the Sturdy/Self Destruct combo.

It eventually reached a point where I had to shut the game off and hopefully try again the next day.

Well, I tried again, and I ran into the other problem that's making this dungeon frustrating. Not only am I spammed with encounters every 5 seconds, but literally everything I run into seems capable of oneshotting like half my team.

After getting steamrolled by a Graveler for the 8 billionth time, I realized I'd reached a point of diminishing returns. I could keep the EXP share off, sure, but the levels were only gonna jump higher, and I didn't want to spend 5000 hours grinding. So, it was with some reluctance that I turned on baby mode, and drained every last ounce of challenge from this game. F.

That being said, turning the crutch on didn't actually solve my immediate problem, so I just kinda had to make this work.

Oh hey, it's half the reason I struggled through this hellhole.

Claude evolved into the chandelier in my dining room next to the living room which has my lamp.

First battle with Chandelure. so that was fun.

Alright I may have gotten frustrated by all the encounters and reset the game back to the first rage-quit. Just a possibility, though.

holy HECK these games are unplayable without repels. The never ending barrage of pointless filler fights, the battle intros the feel like they take 5 years, some other third thing, just wow, what a momentum killer. I don't think I've ever been frustrated at a Pokemon game before, but there's a first for everything.

Wow look it's an item, the only reason I came in here in the first place. I don't actually think I needed that item.

Finally, a fair fight. Spartan vs Tank-Octopus, the classic matchup.

I wonder what this trainer's strategy is?

oh wow, a mildly interesting but not actually matchup. Cue the music.

Finally, I have the other reason I came into this dump. This is so epic.

This cave is truly cursed, here's to me never having to go back in here to catch a really cool but also horribly misused legendary Pokemon.

Right as I did my victory lap I found another cave entrance. this is so sad.

I think I hard counter this thing, I'm not really sure. This thing is a knockoff of Pachirisu.

oh okay we're in a town now.

Gen 1 Bad, callbacks bad, I am a professional game critic.

Oh okay we're like 85% done with the game at this point, but sure give me more tutorials.

bulbapedia

"this game doesn't have good graphics." ~Me like 5 years ago.

I remember when people used to speculate this train led to Galar. While I do agree that the two regions are undeniably linked (Galar is pretty heavily implied to be the other region in the 100 year war this game talks about), we don't know the stance of Brexit in the Pokemon world so crossing the border may not be legal.

There was some text about Lysandre that gave context to this line, but I forgot it so I don't know what to say for this.

Oh wow okay I didn't expect this, what a nice surprise.

Praise revoked.

Worry Seed, and the like two other moves similar to it, are really interesting ideas but also seem kinda useless.

As a Pokemon fan, I feel like I am legally required to declare how much I hate orange over here, but I've grown up. Charizard is fine, a little over-represented, sure, but fine nonetheless. um I mean death to the great satan.

I'd like to thank Terminus Cave for toughening me up against my will.

Ah, just ****ing gorgeous. I could fall asleep here if the possibility of falling into the ocean and dying wasn't there.

I taught Surf to Greninja expecting it to be the best Water move I could get, and literally immediately after I got better surf. ouch.

Well it took a journey and a half, but I fixed that up. The things I'll do for a lower base damage move.

Okay so I figure I should probably catch a final team member at some point, and this seemed like a fun choice. I was originally gonna catch a Goomy back in the haunted house forest, but I didn't want to put up with that for 10 levels. So I'm catching it here.

Catch rates made it difficult, but I did catch it eventually.

Wow, look, a completely inconspicuous rain storm that I definitely didn't manipulate the clock to make appear when I needed it. Just nature taking it's course.

I figured I should get one fight with Sligoo before I dope it with Rare Candies, so here ya go.

How long have you been standing there, my dude? I really don't want to be the one to tell you.

aye ya'll know what time it is?

Sligoo evolved into Goodra.

Alas, as the natural rain pours down, I believe it is time I bid you adieu. I look forward to seeing you in the next part.

 

[Typhlosion]

It still irritates me somewhat that they never did anything with that train station. And that they hardly did anything with Gen VI, come to think of it.

You'll have to tell me what you think of the Snowbelle City music because imo that's one of the top three tracks in the game.

 

[BasedJarrod]

I really enjoyed reading the entirety of your play-through from beginning to now in one sitting. I only did that because

We live in a society.

 

[Cynical Toast]

I'm a few days late to update this, sorry about that

Spoiler: Session 15: Bridge to Nowhere

Hey I remember these rocks- I think, at least. It's been quite some time since I last did this :P

Now that's what I call edgy!

Hey Stunfisk is a thing that exists! Nobody remembers Stunfisk though. If you say you remember Stunfisk- you're wrong.

Ah heck I'm about to get mugged.

Long time since I've heard the rival theme. Both because there was a long stretch without a rival fight and also because I went 9 months without touching this playthrough.

Oh hey we're on a bridge. This is epic.

nice.

Oops I sent out the wrong thing so I guess here is the debut of my overpowered darling Vase.

Don't stand so close to me, bud.

Oh I forgot Florges has a color gimmick. I was too busy seething with rage that it isn't the grass type it really should be.

So I guess that's that for these rivals. I gotta say, they're not really that big a deal- but I wouldn't call that a good thing. Despite making fairly frequent appearances they have like no character- all of their personalities being described in a certain word like "nerd," "girl," or "dance." Without any meaningful moments to flesh them out, these guys end up being nothing more than colorful cheerleaders. And coming after Gen 5, which did the whole friend group thing way better, that's kind of disappointing.

A reader has requested to know my thoughts on the Snowbelle city theme. Well, I'm happy to report that it is an absolute hecking banger. Honestly this game's soundtrack, while not as good as the previous games, is still way better than I used to give it credit for. A lo of good stuff in here.

star wars joke.

Jubelife City remix. I'm not crying, someone just left some onions out.

Yeah that seems like a fair trade.

Hey hey, from this point forward this playthrough is officially blind! Yeah I got lost in Snowbelle city when I was 13, so from here on out this is all new territory for me.

Oh hey it's the thing... you know uh the thing.

Oh god the forest is attacking me for waiting so long to continue this series. I deserve this.

I have absolutely no idea what is going on here.

Just wanted to say this thing should have been in Smash and the fact it isn't is a crime against gamers.

Oh? No roadblock blocking my way? Well that's pretty nice.

I guess while I grind for the gym this is a good time to try out the new bottom screen features: Starting with Pokemon Amie- the spiritual successor to Project Rub

That's enough of that let's try out Super training now. And it looks like Game Freak beat themselves to the punch because that Scatterbug is definitely Dynamaxed.

Honestly I think this little interface is kinda quaint. I might just keep this on for the rest of the playthrough.

Nice name.

I'd love to take on the gym right now but I'm underleveled and I don't want a repeat of Terminus Cave. So, off to train my pets.

You know I gotta say, this thing is seriously underrated. Ursaring is the objectively best. Also, Bears are the number one threat to our nation.

Y'know, one consequence of the Fairy type being added is that the cheeky Wondereye/Wondertomb cheats no longer work. Gonna add that to the reasons Masuda ruined this series.

What's that? An actually interesting strength puzzle? You must be pulling my leg.

Oof.

Oh Shuckle the slaves are rising up.

HM Slave evolved into a bigger slave.

Gee, I sure do wonder what's in this ca- It's Mewtwo. I haven't even played this cave before but even I can tell it's Mewtwo lol.

Ooo that's tempting, but I think I'm gonna have to give it a pass. Maybe next time, tho.

Well, after 9 months of build up; it's finally time to take on the final gym.

Chunk of ice? That's the nicest thing anyone's called me in a long time.

This is my last time to mention this so I guess I should point out that this game doesn't have your rival listed as beating the gym before you. IDK if this was the game they stopped doing that in, but I miss it.

This reminds me of the Gerudo Divine Beast in Breath of the Wild. What a good game that was.

And at last, we've begun the final gym battle. Imma take a bet and say Claude will sweep.

Hey it's Avalugg. He's the kind of defensive Ice type that nobody likes yet Game Freak continues to make for some reaosn.

Hey it's Cryogonal. It's the kind of defensive Ice type that nobody likes yet Game Freak continues to make for some reaosn.

Yoooo this is nice.

Oh shuckle, I'm an extreme skater.

And with that, this session of the series that was stuck in development hell has come to a close. Join me sometime very soon, as we take on Victory Road and prepare for the finale. I promise this won't take another 9 months, so until them, ciao.

 

[Typhlosion]

It makes me happy that you appreciated the Snowbelle City theme! This mysterious reader has excellent taste.

 

[Cynical Toast]

We're almost at the end, folks. Just a little more left to go.

Spoiler: Session 16: Road Rage

Before we take on the league, we need to go around and pick up a few items. So uh, away we go.

It took me a good while to notice that this was a rock smash wall. Truly, this is the Dark Souls of Pokemon puzzles.

I thought this was a puzzle for me to conquer, but no I just couldn't get past these rocks.

Unfortunately you can't cut grass in this game anymore. Childhood literally ruined.

It's been 15 years, and I finally have a good Dark type move. This wait never should have happened, but alas we live in a society.

I love stormy weather. Ever since I was little I've liked overcast skies and stormy moods. Pokemon played a big part in shaping that, although I'm not sure how considering the games I grew up with didn't have skies.

This may be one of the worst invisible walls I've seen in any game- let alone Pokemon. You trying to tell me I can't step outside of this snow? Literally worst game ever made smh.

Ah yeah, it's big brain time.

I don't remember what exactly I did to get in this situation, but lol.

Finally, a usable Ground type move. Only took until the end of the game.

At the very beginning of this playthrough, over a year and a half ago at this point, I showed off this item I couldn't yet get to. Well, I finally go it, and I've got to say it was not worth the weight.

And, with everything we need in our possession, we're setting off on the road one last time.

So, bit of a fun fact, I originally picked Goodra because I spent years thinking it was part Fairy type. You can imagine my surprise when I found out it was a pure dragon, meaning picking it was a complete waste.

Finally, after all this time having to rely on Poison Jab, I can finally kill a man with an Earthquake. This feels great.

I gotta say, this Victory Road gate looks pretty cool. It's not as good as the one in Gen 5, but I mean, it's the second best Victory Road gate so far. (Not that that's a high bar lol)

Oh? The Victory Road this game isn't a cave? Color me impressed.

NVM, spoke too soon. We back in the cave, boys and girls.

Level 60 :(

Oh god this really is Terminus Cave 2. I'll get ready for the rage quits.

Really not sure what to say to that, bro.

Ok... this is epic.

Oh no poor Goodra :(

Oh neat this Pseudo-Legendary just kinda skydropped in. It's not even supposed to exist in these levels this is scandalous.

Figured I'd capture this little demon just as a trophy. Welcome to life in the PC, bud.

I'm noticing I'm having to go in and out of this cave quite a bit and run to a Pokemon Center. A doctor NPC somewhere inside probably would have been helpful.

I was caught off guard when this thing used Psychic on me. Then I broke into a good laugh when I realized I resist it and it's effort was futile.

Oh cool a super secret saucy backtrack path. This will be useful.

Why the **** are Fairies good against Bugs? Literally their whole purpose is to make the game more balanced, why give the weakest type another weakness?

Alright, one last epic mountain view to cap off this games visuals. This game doesn't look incredible, but it gets the job done and frankly looks way better than I thought it did when I first started this journey.

Alright, it's showtime with this dumb idiot boring character. And spoiler: I effortlessly swept him lol.

Ummm, ackshually, this game has no meaningful postgame content, so uh, this is where you peak bud.

We're not so different, you and I.

There's more cave? That's uh... not great dungeon design imo. But oh well, the show must go on.

Obligatory.

Hey it's Lombre, a member of the definitely not racist Ludicolo family. Ole!

I switched into this thing expecting Golurk, but uh, I was played for a fool.

RIP Reggnald from SEGA Europe.

And with that, we made it. Please join me next time in the grand finale, as we take on the Pokemon League and I finally can move on with my life. Until next time, friends.

 

[Cynical Toast]

My friends, the time has finally come. Tonight we finally end this travesty of a playthrough that went on a year too long. I never could have done it without ya'll- from all your comments that I never knew how to respond to, to your putting up with my love of delays. They said it couldn't be done- that Cynical Toast from forums.marriland.com could never beat Pokemon X- but they were wrong. I don't know what else to say other than- we live in a society.

Spoiler: Final Session: One Last Time

I made a conscious(I think) decision to play this final bit in the evening. Really builds up the tension of this children's monster fighting video game. Before we take on the league, though, let's take a look at our crew!

Hermés the Greninja: The Leader. The very first monster to join us, Hermés proved to be the most reliable member of our team. Whenever I was in a bind, he was there to bail us out. He may not have had the most powerful moves, but by god did he have heart.

Medici the Vesipquen: The Unbreakable fortress. Medici was always a bit of an uphill battle- from the 40 minute grind it took me to find her back in part 1, to her relatively lackluster stats compared to the rest of the team- she was never the gifted child. But in the end she proved herself with strong defenses and a mastery of the element of surprise. She was my queen bee, and god help anyone who dared to disrespect my queen.

Lafayette the Gallade: The muscle. Added to the team on a whim- Lafayette ended up being the star player of the team. His powerful physical moves and inspiring transition midway through made him an essential piece of the larger team puzzle.

Napoleon the Nidoking: The Crusher. Napoleon was an interesting one for sure- picked mostly just to fill out the team and deal with Fairies- he really struggled with his movepool through much of the journey. He had no usable STAB for a while upon joining the team, and it wasn't until the very end he got his staple move in Earthquake. But when he got the chance to shine, oh boy did he shine. Nothing could stand in the way of one of his powerful physical attacks, and those that did only went on to fall the following turn.

Claude the Chandelure: The Nuke. Claude arguably played a similar roll to Napoleon just with special attacks rather than physical. However, due to her joining the team much later on in the journey, she had no problems with movepool options. Claude absolutely teared through everything in her path with a colorful arsenal of screen nukes. She probably ended up being the most powerful on the team by the end- just an absolute force of destruction.

Vase the Goodra: The jack of all trades. Vase got on the team via a series of misconceptions: I thought she was a Fairy she wasn't, and I thought she was fairly weak for a dragon but no she was super strong. I was originally gonna use Klefkei instead, but honestly with such power as with Vase I can't really say I would have prefered that. If nothing else, it was nice to treat myself to an uber powerful monster for once.

Anyway, now that we're done recounting the heroes, here's some #art to get ourselves soothed with. We need to be of calm mind to take on the champion, after all.

Well I was kinda excited to not know the types going into this, but uh I guess the game needs to do some last minute handholding just to sustain itself.

Haha, no. I haven't done any grinding since Victory Road, and I know the E4 have Pokemon several levels higher than mine. I just saw it fit to believe in the heart of the cards and take my chances. What could go wrong?

Oh heck. It's danger- the water is rising!

Welp, here we go. Beginning of the end.

I know a lot of people have already said it, but hot Darmanitan Barbaracle is ****ing ugly. Like, I know barnacles aren't the most sightly of things, but come on man!

Uhhh oh no. It got a Dragon Dance up. This may not end well.

Aaaaand it completely swept through my entire team. I really should have seen this coming.

Alright take 2. This time it's REALLY the beginning of the end.

I managed to get a freeze off on Gyrados but it instantly thawed out. Seems to have been in vain, though.

BURN BURN BURN TO THE GROUND!!!

Hey it's Smogonbird! Despite it being one of the most iconic Gen 6 Pokemon I feel like it's made itself sparse. Actually, now that I think about it, all the Gen 6 Pokemon have been pretty obscure in their debut game. Gotta stuff in those oldies somehow.

I could have easily gotten wrecked by this thing but I got blessed by the hands of RNJesus. Praise be.

Hey it's Pokemon Sword version. I can already hear the angry fanboys at my door.

Aegislash is one of the coolest Pokemon this gen, no doubt. It predicted an entire Pokemon game- which means it totally should have been a Solrock evolution.

So I was checking my team in preparation for the final E4 battle and it turns out, uh, I have no way to counter dragons. I mean, I could use Vase, but she's pretty slow and I don't think she'd be able to handle a whole team of them. This should be interesting.

Nothing really interesting about this last room, Alexa play Robotica Farms.

Y'know Claude may not have been the best lead for this fight. I really look like a fool.

Not even close Baybee. With that, the E4 has fallen, and there's only one battle left to go. I wonder who it could be?

Not even clo- oops I already said that.

And now, let's walk through this door from Undertale, and finally figure out the perplexing mystery of who the champion of this game could be. I honestly have no clue.

WHAAAAAAT?! You mean to tell me that Diantha, a literal rip off of Cynthia, who was herself a ripoff of Steven, who himself was actually a ripoff of Lance, is the champion?! That's so predictable, it really hurts.

Folks, it's time for the final battle. Here we ****ing go!

One of Diantha's Pokemon killed itself with Recoill. F.

Honestly this thing being part ghost type really stings. Medici could have had a big flashy exit and swwept this thing, but apparently we can't have it. Gotta take slightly longer to sweep it I guess.

And here we have it- the very last encounter. It's time we finished this once and for all!

Gardevoir mega evolved, giving itself a massive power advantage. But all that power means nothing against the ultimate power that I possess.

I won by getting lucky and making it flinch with Dark Pulse. Truly, I am the queen of gaming and have beaten this game in the most eloquent way possible.

Haha, nerd.

Now, after all this time, we can finally enter the hall of fame and end this series.

Mission Complete!

Ah yes, the chosen heroes walk. Me, and these guys I met at the 7/11 who won't leave me alone.

We are the OG's, the true heroes of this land who shall be celebrated for ages to come.

People around the world have come to celebrate me beating a game made for 10 year olds!

Oh heck, it's time for some last minute character development I guess. I really like this guy, so I'm down to clown for a bit.

Now this, this is the TRUE final battle. An incredibly easy sweep with some nice story to back it up. I'd say it fits the game, but the story here wasn't exactly a selling point now was it?

And it's all come full circle. We shall end this game as we began it, with Hermés at our side.

Don't feel too bad, man, this game was so easy that almost everyone went down as easy as you.

Heh, I'm not crying you are.

AHHHHH! It's- it's

This playthrough really has gone on too long, hasn't it?

Honestly, in a game filled with boring characters, I'm glad that it ends with this literal angel.

And now things REALLY end where they began: With a baby Smogonbird in the sky. Great work, Sonic Team.

So that was Pokemon X & Y, a game I'm really glad I played. For the longest time, I thought this game was an irredeemable trash fire of a game that ruined Pokemon and by extension my childhood. I thought the characters were terrible, the music and graphics were undercooked, the nostalgia-pandering was unbearable, and probablt some other 4th thing I can't remember right now. But you know what, after playing through this game and photojournaling my experience with it, I gotta say, the game ain't half bad. A lot of those issues I had were either not as severe as I remembered, or just totally irrelevant to the actual quality of the game. I absolutely had a good time playing this- and while some of that probably had to do with me getting to look back and use it as an excuse to post memes, I don't think I'd have really enjoyed myself if the game itself wasn't good. The game still isn't one of my top 5 Pokemon games, and I don't see myself going back to it for quite a long time, I can at least now confidently say I enjoy it. And at the very least, I like it more than Gen 1, so that probably means something, right?

You know, this all kinda timed out weird. Right as I started to mellow out and appreciate this game for what it was, a bit of bad marketing led to this fanbase being hijacked by the very same type of of toxic, hyperbolic fan that I had once been. Suddenly EVERYBODY thought that XY were the games that ruined Pokemon and that BW were seriously underrated gems. Where once I felt like a lone idiot shouting on a hill, there was now an army of "fans" parroting my old talking points. Except I had grown up when it started, so I didn't get to feel any sense of vindication or whatever. What this whole experience has shown me is that I was a closed minded idiot and I closed myself off from some fun games for no good reason. I never even tried Sun and Moon, maybe I should give those a shot soon?

But yeah, that's gonna be about it for now. I'll come back to this eventually and do the postgame, like I said I would, but for now I'd like to focus on other projects. There's still that bug monotype I need to do, which I promise I will continue just as soon as I get in the mood to spend hours grinding. And uh... I'm definitely not crazy enough to start a new project immediately after this one. Haha, no way I'd do that.

 

[Typhlosion]

@Victory Road update: Wow, nice job running into a Hydreigon. Those are pretty darn rare, I always just get the Fearow and Skarmory. And it's kind of nuts in XY how many great moves are locked behind Waterfall. I remember all of Psychic, Dark Pulse, Rock Slide, Stone Edge, and Earthquake.

This is just my two cents as a spectator but there were a couple things here that seem unfair to me. For one, Bug doesn't resist Psychic, nor is it weak to Fairy. Far be it from me to say anything good about the Fairy-type, but the Bug-types are still doing alright. Another thing is that I really like how they handled this Victory Road, smaller caves broken up by outside sections. It's a lot more entertaining than the usual one-big-cave. Plus, you call it not great dungeon design, but it's the same concept as the B2W2 Victory Road. It's pretty much against the law to say anything bad about those games, so...bit of a conflict. Finally, it's a bit rich to talk about constantly having to go back to a Pokemon Center to heal, but then scoffing about effortlessly sweeping the rival, the hardest fight in the dungeon. Can't have it both ways.

All that aside, I'm glad you were able to enjoy your playthrough! I too enjoyed seeing you post memes, even if YouTube made me spend more time watching ads than the memes themselves. If you ever get a chance I'd love to see a Sun and Moon playthrough from you!