♡ The Lonely Hearts Club ♡ - When You're around Me, I'm Radioactive

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Luke Strife

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Hugs for you Felly. It's good to let it all out. I'm glad that you feel better here and are comfortable enough to share that with us. I read your post and I have to admit I got a little reflective and sad myself, as I super relate to many of the things you said. There's definitely a lot of blame I put on myself for my three relationships ending as they did. And, I guess it's actually quite difficult for me to come to terms with the reality that it isn't all my fault really, they shoulder plenty of it too. It's not something I feel like talking about right this moment though, it was buried deep for quite a long time while I worked on myself these past three or so years.
 

Felly

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Hugs for you Felly. It's good to let it all out. I'm glad that you feel better here and are comfortable enough to share that with us. I read your post and I have to admit I got a little reflective and sad myself, as I super relate to many of the things you said. There's definitely a lot of blame I put on myself for my three relationships ending as they did. And, I guess it's actually quite difficult for me to come to terms with the reality that it isn't all my fault really, they shoulder plenty of it too. It's not something I feel like talking about right this moment though, it was buried deep for quite a long time while I worked on myself these past three or so years.
Thank you! ♥ I hope one day, for both of our sakes, we can get past the feeling of shouldering all of the blame for our past relationships and realize that we aren't completely to blame. It's a healing process for sure, but I believe in us!

And whenever you're ready to talk about it, if ever, I'll be here to listen to ya! (And the same goes for anyone else who just needs someone to talk to them, my DMs are open!)
 

Thundawave

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Welcome, Griddle! I’ll put you on the list and give you the Discord invite when I’m on a computer again.

@Felly: It’ll definitely take time, but I believe you can do it!

Formal is on Saturday, and I am attempting and failing to not be stressed. Few things really get to me, but anything remotely related to dating or relationships is unfortunately one of them.

Though for some humor in my life, some other guy asked me to their formal, but the day of that one was a complete non-option whether or not I wanted to go.
 

smoky

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hiiii i know i don’t post here often but could my heart thingy be updated to be in a relationship?? ty <3
 

theDINOsaurus

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hiiii i know i don’t post here often but could my heart thingy be updated to be in a relationship?? ty <3
Son where are my details you need family approval!!!!!!!!!!!! jk mostly but ily
 

Thundawave

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Eyy congrats, Kaleb!

As for my formal, it went really well. None of us ditched each other, so I consider that a success.

Tbh I never realized how fun formals could actually be when you have a good date and a solid group of friends at the table. At prom in high school, I never had a date, and I was never super close to the friends I sat with. It was mainly okay but not amazing. And then semiformal two years ago with that mystery date was plain awkward. Because of those experiences, my expectations were rather abysmal going into this. I’m thankful that formal basically blasted that negativity away.
 

Felly

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Congrats, Kaleb! I'm happy for ya, friend! ♥

Also, relatable on the formals front. Homecoming in high school was a lot more fun when I had friends to hang out with. I ended up going to ring dance/junior prom with my childhood best friend and we ended up splitting up by the end of the night and kinda doing our own thing. Senior prom, I went to with high school friends too, but I ended up bailing on the after party because I didn't realize it was a stay at the person's house kinda thing with drinking lmao. Senior prom was nice since I had friends there with me, but it could've been better. I haven't done any formal stuff since high school though; my honor fraternity wanted to do a formal type thing, but we couldn't get the funds together for it.
 

theDINOsaurus

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Prom is the only event like that I went to, and I went with a group of friends (none of us went as "dates," we were just one big group). We had a lot of fun even if we didn't have the typical prom experience haha. The photo booth was my favorite part tbh.
 

Pendraflare

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Wow, congrats, Kaleb!!! That is so cool. :D

And likewise, I've never went to any formals or anything with a real date, but with prom I would sometimes sit with other people at a table and we'd have something to talk about. They're still fun in their own right, but it's definitely better with others.
 

Luke Strife

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I never bothered with any of that stuff back in school. There just wasn't anyone interested in doing so at the time, and I can't say I had many friends from which to choose. Went to a couple of school discos when I was really young, but nothing akin to taking a "date" or "+1" of some kind. Especially because I didn't consider myself to be romantically active until my late teens/early 20s.
 

ninetales

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Congrats Kaleb!! I hope things go well for you guys!

Glad you had a better time at the formal than expected Regine! Btw you looked absolutely gorgeous on your insta <3

I've only been to one formal, and since I went to a girls school, it was rare to bring a date so there wasn't any pressure to do that. It was mostly just a friends thing so it went well.
 

~Kilza~

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There were never any formals or proms when I went to school. Not that it would've mattered since I didn't have any friends and I doubt anybody would've asked me out, lol, so I wouldn't have went in the first place.
 

Thundawave

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@Kilza: That sounds rough. Seriously. We've all felt loneliness before regardless of which school we went to, how many friends we had, or how we were generally feeling. It's a human universal. At the same time, it's good to recognize the community we have here. I hope you feel at least a bit at home with us, Kilza, because I definitely believe you have friends now.

Some of the frats went really overboard with their formals. More than one frat made theirs overnight events ( :thonkazurill: ), and I think one even went to Niagara Falls for the weekend??? Makes me kinda glad that sororities are a lot stricter with this stuff.
 

~Kilza~

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@Kilza: That sounds rough. Seriously. We've all felt loneliness before regardless of which school we went to, how many friends we had, or how we were generally feeling. It's a human universal. At the same time, it's good to recognize the community we have here. I hope you feel at least a bit at home with us, Kilza, because I definitely believe you have friends now.
Yeah, don't worry too much about it. The past is the past, we cannot change it, but we can learn from it. I don't let the fact things weren't great in the past stop me from making things better in the present and believing that I will find love in the future. Being here in the community and having friends does show me how things have changed from the past.
 

Zange

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Can my thing be updated to in a relationship? I completely forgot to say something here when it first started oof (and this was over a month and a half ago, shame on me!!)
 

Sheep

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Belated congratulations to those who are in relationships now! Wishing you the absolute best. :>

Things have been going very well for me personally. I visited the boyfriend for two weeks in his flat in Cape Town in January, and had such a great time with him that I (finally) decided to quit my job early April to stay with him for a few months. Some of you know that I've been doing a two-hour commute each way to get to this job for over two years and often talked about how little time I had for....well, anything??? The commute by itself was so draining I near abandoned all of my hobbies and did nothing but sleep and work. As someone shy who just wants to blend in I was really scared to give my notice in to my bosses, but received lots of support from them and other co-workers, and the goodbye party was actually nice!

Flew out April 12th and have been with bf and his family in his house in Australia since then (6hr flight from NYC to LAX and then another 14.5hr to SYD though dear god). He's traveling for work here for the month but has been showing me around his home country a lot on free days. Sydney is a lovely city. We'll be flying back to Cape Town on Friday and I'll be staying for 3 more months from there, or 6 if my tourist stay can be extended another 90 days. So either until early August or early November.

Was really scared about quitting the job and losing my main source of income, but I couldn't be happier that I did. I feel so much freer and more relaxed from not spending my life constantly stressed by that crummy job and commute. No regrets working there for the two years though, since it has helped me a lot in saving up enough money to not need to work for years and be able to enjoy life. Quit on a good note and kept my connections too, so I can use these co-workers/friends as references in the future if I need to! For now, I am very content with not working and enjoying time with the SO. 💕
 

DeepSeaPrincess

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So I know I've vented a little on Discord but I don't think I let on just how bad my gf and I were struggling with communication. It's unfortunately a learned thing from parents, the whole family's not the greatest at it. And with us at the time being long distance...yeah, it was starting to get worse. It got real bad recently when I said three days beforehand I'd come over and she just never showed, even when I waited several hours (turned out she actually had never seen the message). It all turned out ok in the end when a few days later we met to talk. She admitted she was bad at it and I had a right to be angry, promising to be better in the future. She was really understanding about my side of the whole thing and while she explained herself she didn't try to defend herself when she knew she'd messed up. And so far it hasn't been too bad of an issue. Granted, I haven't tried texting much, but I know she's busy with work (I try to keep most texting on snapchat so it doesn't drive her nuts at work) and she has responded on there when she reads it. I'm very happy I'm back in the same state, that was just such a strain on our relationship and someone who's seen you at your worst over three years of friendship and one of dating and still thinks you're the greatest thing ever isn't worth leaving over something that can and will be solved with work and patience on both our ends.


That's awesome Sheep, it really is amazing being able to just enjoy life after all that stress and spend time with someone you love:)
 

Mystical

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Communication is good, I think. And online relationships are not easy. I'm personally more Independant, and like to do my own thing without having to constantly check in with someone. But it depends on each relation. Imo it's important to come to a concensus, which you two seem to have reached, or at least an understanding, so that's good.

Something else I've questioned is why being in a relationship is considered as good, while being single is seen as bad. They both have their pros and cons.
 

shhmew

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i have not really known how to say this without being dramatic and attention seeking but i am single now ! might as well get it out of the way instead of hiding from it

it's really hard to let go of something you've tried for years to build up but that's rly just how it be sometimes right

i haven't truly focused on myself enough for a long long time (if ever) and i think it's about time i did that..! i know it's stupid idk i just wanna be happy.. i hope everyone else is doing good i genuinely do, we all deserve it
 
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