♡ The Lonely Hearts Club ♡ - When You're around Me, I'm Radioactive

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Diarkia124

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i have not really known how to say this without being dramatic and attention seeking but i am single now ! might as well get it out of the way instead of hiding from it

it's really hard to let go of something you've tried for years to build up but that's rly just how it be sometimes right

i haven't truly focused on myself enough for a long long time (if ever) and i think it's about time i did that..! i know it's stupid idk i just wanna be happy.. i hope everyone else is doing good i genuinely do, we all deserve it
Good on ya for wanting to focus on yourself again and wanting to be happy. And honestly it isn't stupid because no matter what you will always have yourself.
 

Felly

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Friendly reminder that everyone here is wonderful and great and ily all. <3

i have not really known how to say this without being dramatic and attention seeking but i am single now ! might as well get it out of the way instead of hiding from it

it's really hard to let go of something you've tried for years to build up but that's rly just how it be sometimes right

i haven't truly focused on myself enough for a long long time (if ever) and i think it's about time i did that..! i know it's stupid idk i just wanna be happy.. i hope everyone else is doing good i genuinely do, we all deserve it
It is 100% not stupid to want to be happy. Your happiness is important! If you're not happy outside of a relationship, then you're probably not going to be happy in one either. That's not to say a person shouldn't love you even if you're not happy 24/7, but if you are unhappy 24/7, it really brings things down.

But most importantly, you deserve happiness. Everyone here does. And it is not stupid to want it or deserve it, for yourself or for anyone else here.
 

Luke Strife

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Best of luck to you Katey. Glad you're trying to see the positive about it, but we'll be here for you if you need it.
 

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Yesss focusing on yourself is truly important, Katey. It is not stupid at all. I wish you the best of luck going forward and keep up the positivity. ^^
 

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thank you for the kind words by the way. i am Strong and Good but i won't lie it really does help heh

honestly at this point it is not so much about being single but more just that i hope i can have a family with someone who loves me some day. i am getting older. and that's the part i find stupid, cuz i always tell people my age or even older that they still have plenty of time to find someone. but i guess now i really really understand that fear.
 

Mystical

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I think that's a legit concern. I haven't really felt that way because for me marrying and having kids isn't a priority. But my advice is to try to enjoy your life. Try not to overworry about your future or you will miss the present.
 

Lazuli

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I have felt that way before, still do. Not the having kids part but getting married in general. I just always had this mindset that I would be married in my 20s, especially so when I see my friends getting married and just noticing in general that a lot of people my age are married and have kids. Just makes me think it'll be a freaking miracle if I find someone in general that I want to spend forever with before I turn 30 let alone be married before the big 3-0.
 

Luke Strife

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Tell me about it. I had a bit of a crisis when I turned 30 and realised I didn't have any of the things I wanted and was still single, so I can relate. I realise it's an emotional response and not a logical one. I'll find someone some day. I hope. It's been almost six months since turning it, and I keep having to tell myself to just work on taking care of me. It's really hard as I can feel a clock ticking, but I do recognise that it's nothing more than a voice inside my own brain.
 

Thundawave

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My parents married at 30/31, so I’ve never really felt the rush to get married. I want to have a bit of an independent life first after all. However, the number of people who have never been in a relationship continues to dwindle the older I get, which is only a problem because I’m comparing myself to others.

So last night’s conversations with some choir people reminded me how little I say whether guys are cute. Someone showed me a picture of a cute guy she knew, and I said “not bad” lol (which she took as a compliment). And with celebrities, I care far less, barely thinking about their looks because it feels like a waste of time to me. That’s probably also why I’ve never had a celebrity crush.

So with that in mind, how open are all of you to admitting to friends that other people are good-looking when going through pictures?
 

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A celeb or fictional character? Very easy. A guy that I actually am attracted to that I know? "They have a nice uh.....Nose "
 

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Well first off, it's not often that I go through pictures with friends XD

I really don't mind saying that other people are good looking. I believe that to be true; no one is ugly, so why not say so? There's always some good-natured teasing which goes along with that, especially about being romantically attracted to someone when it comes to photos of women, but I know it's all in good fun and I can handle it.
 

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If I think someone looks nice, I'll say it! I have gotten teased before about it but most people know that I give compliments to lots of people and it usually has nothing to do with attraction. I just think others should know that they look good, you never know how much it might make their day:)
 

Felly

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@ finding the right person, that is such a big mood. There are some days where I genuinely feel like I won't find someone by the time I'm 30, and I'll end up as one of those 40 year old cat ladies with 20 cats. (Probably still cheaper than kids tho, let's be real.) My past relationships (and even more recently since I've been talking to my ex here and there) have left me questioning if I'm even appealing to people outside of the physical aspect, and that kinda hurts me a lil bit too. I'm not really actively looking for a relationship right now, but I also don't want to be 30 and still single. My parents got married when they were about my age, maybe a lil bit older (I forget the exact age off hand rn), and my mom tells me a lot to wait but also I don't want to be 30 and single because then I'll really start feeling like I'm gonna be 40 with 20 cats.

@ good looking pictures, it really depends. I'm not super open about my attractions of other people, whether they be real or fictional. I have my celebrity crushes, of course, and I've crushed on real people, but I've never really been super open about it. I've always been the kind of person that's wanted to know what the person's like on the inside and not just what they're like on the outside, so I always have kinda just shrugged whenever those questions have come up in conversation. I'm honest if I think the person is attractive or not, but I don't usually get into long winded conversations about it either.

There was one time I was at a Relay for Life event with friends in an organization I was a part of, and the fraternity I was going to rush the following semester was there, so I was able to meet some of the brothers a semester early, which was really nice. (One of my friends was one of the founding members and she also ended up being my big, only to drop the semester after I'd joined.) One of the other founding brothers was actually really cute, but I'd learned he was younger than me (I think he was like 18/19 at the time, and I was like 22/23, give or take). The age wasn't necessarily a bad thing, but I prefer older guys over younger guys so that didn't really make me even want to try to pursue anything. It was the first time my friends had really heard me speak out about my attraction towards another guy, so it's really rare that I really say anything about it.

I think the one time in middle school where I'd talked about how I was attracted to a guy that ended up not being attracted to me at all when he found out kinda ruined it for me; I'd told a friend, and she'd told her boyfriend, who was friends with the guy and told him. The guy had literally made a gagging expression when he found out, and I just kinda sank down into hiding after because it was kinda embarrassing. I'm fine with it all now years later, we were in middle school, and middle school kids do dumb stuff, but it kinda messed me up then and I guess deep down, I'm scared of the same thing happening again. The guy also had a girlfriend at the time, and once I realized that, I let my feelings for him go because they seemed happy together when I saw them together and I wasn't interested in ruining that at all.

The only other time I'd confessed my feelings to someone I liked was with my second ex, and well, 6 months of dating and like 3 years of friendship went down the drain pretty quick, so shrug. I feel like my track record for actually confessing my feelings to someone I like and want to be in a relationship isn't very good given how it's gone the past two times I've done it, whether it be through someone else or doing it myself, so it's kinda made me a lot more hesitant in sharing that information because I don't want it all to keep going downhill. I actually want a relationship to work because casual romantic relationships just aren't my thing at all.
 

shhmew

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honestly regine i am the same way even though i'm not exactly reserved when it comes to that, i'm never the type to look at people and tell friends "wow he/she's hot" lol that's just so weird to me. and growing up other girls found it really weird, they'd gush over guys walking by or celebrities (who were often like 40??) and i'd just stay quiet and they would point out how strange that is..... i just don't usually want to talk about someone's looks even if i'm thinking it
 

Pendraflare

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Late but Katey I'm glad that you're taking the right measures and going about it well. As many have said, we'll always support you!

Anyway, if I haven't already said, my brother is about to get married, and we're twins, and his fiance is almost 8 months older than him. And since I still haven't ever had a relationship I do feel like a part of me doesn't have that much time left. And yet I'm still not doing anything about it...

And I haven't really been one to confess feelings for someone, since I just haven't had the chance to. What are girls lol.

(wow my short posts make me look paltry compared to these walls of text don't they)
 

shhmew

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pendra i didn't know you had a twin! (if you've mentioned it, keep in mind my memory is garbage.) congrats to him.

and i am absolutely not handling this well to be transparent for a sec but i always dust myself off quickly when i'm destroyed so i think it's ok! just waiting for the recovery phase!hehh
 

Mystical

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We talked about dating sites before, but I think those are a real alternatives if you really want something with someone, guys. Just not apps like Tinder, but I think there are some sites that are more serious with the finding a person you can like part. Or I've seen people writing their profiles on a magazine (don't remember which, but I'm assuming it must work or people wouldn't use it).
 

shhmew

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dating sites/apps are not for everyone
 

theDINOsaurus

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Yes what Katey said. There’s nothing wrong with dating sites for sure!! They can be great for people. But I know I would be incredibly uncomfy meeting someone for the first time on a date. I really do need to know the person before I have any interest in dating. Starting as friends is very important to some people.

I hear you guys on feeling like you’re not making the timeline. I have felt those exact feelings (especially in college when everyone around me was getting engaged and married) and it’s such a crappy feeling. Even when I started feeling better, it was “I’m happy being single NOW” and I’m sure those feelings would come right back after a few years. I can’t guarantee anyone (myself included of course) that there’s someone out there for you, but don’t give up that hope and remember that you’re still a pretty amazing person either way!
 
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