The opposite of self-confidence

[Biohazard]

Previous thread.

I don't like many things about myself actually. I'm a negative and pessimistic person and it is actually very hard to be happy and stuff. I'm even envious of that there are people who are happy about their lives, are optimistic and have a laid-back attitude. I'm not that type of person who wants to change for others because I'm not and never will be like that, but I think that my negative nature is off-putting for other people. I want communitate with other people more after years of being asocial

Another thing that I dislike about myself is that I can be very critical, which is result of my negative personality. I often rant on the Marri server, but I have to do because it helps to get my anger to go away. I know that people have to rant sometimes, but man I wish I was more optimistic about my life but it is way too hard for me.

Oh yeah, I also get annoyed over the smallest things.

 

[shhmew]

i complain and complain and complain and complain and complain and complain and complain and complain and complain and

 

[Dragonite]

Something something adhd, and sitting inside in the dark doing nothing when I could be out doing literally anything.

Which means I get absolutely nothing done with my life ever, but it's even more of a problem socially-wise than productivity-wise. I COULD spend time at school and talk to people and join clubs or whatever . . . or I could just go home. I get together with friends from high school, like, once every eleven months.

So that's cheerful.

 

[Cynical Toast]

I've got plenty of ideas for a variety of things, but I often find myself with no motivation to do anything with them. So ultimately I don't really do anything, even though I have a roadmap of what I want to do.

 

[DeepSeaPrincess]

I'm overly emotional, tend to stick out in a group, too loud, annoying, not as smart as the rest of my family, defensive, anxious, argumentative, think too hard about things, the black sheep of the family, easily distracted...god the list goes on.

Edit: wow this was not a good thread to find when my brain decided to have a short depression bout.

 

[Felly]

I'm like Cynical_Toast in that I have lots of ideas, but zero motivation to do them. In my bullet journal, I have this list of ideas, and that's literally all it is, is a list. I haven't done a single thing to it, and I keep adding to it, but I'm not taking anything off of it either because I'm not working on the other ideas on that list. I just have more ideas than I have time or motivation to do any of them, and it's a little crushing tbh. I'm hoping I can find ways to motivate myself to keep up with my ideas and actually see them through until the end, instead of starting them, trying them for a day or two, then getting bored with them and never touching them again, leaving them unfinished.

Also, being more open about my feelings when something bothers me instead of being passive-aggressive about it or just bottling it up and not letting it bother me. And also not bottling up emotions, like when things in general bother me or I'm frustrated by something or whatever. I like to think I've been getting a little better at that stuff since I've been here, but sometimes, I've been still a little passive-aggressive about stuff (namely when talking to my ex since we've been talking some more lately) so I still gotta work on it. Thankfully, he hasn't gotten mad at me over it, but I'd still like to avoid any conflict because of it.

 

[Rockie]

Were I to talk about all my self-loathing here the post would be like 1000 words long but something I really really really need to work on is not giving up so easily.
If other people are involved I usually have a lot more motivation but working on stuff by myself I give up too easily if I get frustrated and I really hate it

 

[Bijou]

My self-esteem is poo in general and I apologize and worry about literally everything. ;w;

 

[colours]

I'm way too sensitive to a fault and get anxiety breakdowns too easily over things other people would consider very minor.

 

[Neb]

I am redoing this because I am more self aware about my flaws.

This is very obvious given my post history, but I obsess over people's behavior way too much. I have literally lost sleep over those I think have a bad moral compass. My mood will sour from just being in a setting I find angsty or negative (which is the main reason I dislike high school campuses so much). It's an issue I've had for years and my life would be much better if I fixed it.

I am very bad at staying in touch. Both my IRL friends and people I have met on here should be more than aware of that. Usually I'll go for months without speaking because I am unsure on what to talk about with them. All of my friends are wonderful people, so I hope they don't think I dislike them.

Without a consistent routine I have zero motivation to do anything. Now that I have no set time to go to school or sleep, I have procrastinated more and wake up at noon. The stress makes me anxious and I resort to entertainment to get my mind off it. It's a bad cycle that has created the risk of not graduating in time.

I have been historically awful at opening up to new people. There have been so many nice individuals who thought I didn't want to be friends just because I was afraid to respond (that includes people on Marriland). Most of that is out of my shyness and I apologize to everyone who got the wrong idea.

 

[Cynical Toast]

I rely way too much on my sense of humor for my self confidence. Some days it works out fine, with every joke landing and me feeling pretty great. Then there are the days where nothing I say is funny, and I feel like complete crap the whole day. I need to start valuing myself as more than a joker, I guess.

Edit: I'm also just realizing the irony of putting a meme in this post, but I'll keep it as it because it's super lol.